baby art blog

the game cat’s fps special

bang bang you’re dead! – yay, the mindless fun of first person shooters – staple diet of next gen gaming – personally i detest the testosterone real war ones – y’know, all those with constant stupid shouting of “taking heat”, “cover me!”, “reloading!” and “frag out!” – i also fail to comprehend the obsessed inanity of (and inane obsession with) multiplayer – but i am very partial to the post-apocalyptic alien invasion magnitude 11 earthquake landscape ones – with all the rather weird idiosyncrasies of the genre – the bodies and blood stains that always magically evaporate into thin air – “solo” campaigns which invariably mean following a teammate around (and shooting him/her in the head at point blank range has no effect!) – the screen going red round the edges accompanied by heartbeats to denote you are almost dead – but then merely ducking behind cover for a few seconds makes you right-as-rain good-to-go 100% health once more – the absurdly exuberant gun fetishism – the enemy leaving convenient crates of ammo everywhere – a missile launcher for the taking just when you need one – just gimme an smg – point me at the enemy – press start

killzone 3

dumb shit – you go to groundzero of a nuked planet without so much as a paper face mask – “this it it boys! let’s save the earth!” – ho ho ho! – okay, the story is crass, the characters are crap (except for the hilarious stereotype generals – all facial scars and walrus mustaches) – but who cares, it’s just a game – and… honestly, it’s really great! – you quickly get sucked in by the frantic pace, intense action and dramatic settings – the state-of-the-art (until the next game comes out) graphics and atmospheric effects etc make it a very immersive experience – varied gameplay means you never have time to get bored – tho i couldn’t play it for more than an hour per sitting as it makes you exhausted – it’s an easy game but that’s cool with me – a blockbuster run’n'gun rollercoaster ride becomes less fun if it keeps grinding to a halt at certain points – so, yeah, a hundred times better than the overrated tedium of killzone 2

crysis 2

lmao re the pc spec snobs getting their knickers in a twist over having invested $$$$ in a “gaming rig” only to discover there’s negligible difference in performance and graphics from “gay” four year old console technology – thus they are left to resort to declaring the graphics suck, it’s been dumbed down, it’s “a console port” and plainly a “shitty” game (unanimous verdict reached before the game was out!) – plainly their gigantic maxed-out motherfucker microsoft systems have done nothing to extend their vocabulary beyond the desperate single adjective “shitty” – but who cares about such hysterical whining and squabbling, is this “shitty” game actually any good? – well, actually, nothing special really – too much like school playground multiplayer mehness for me – with almost no variation – and being able to run from checkpoint to checkpoint avoiding everything is not exactly impressive – until you get to fight the aliens it’s also difficult to even see enemies – you spend more time looking at a dumb radar map representation rather than enjoying the gorgeous graphics – the story is also somewhat lacking – seriously lacking any engaging involvement – in a few levels you might get to kick open a door or press a couple of buttons – gosh! exciting! – things do pick up a fair bit as it goes on admittedly – it’s not totally “shitty” – and, of course, tho the gameplay maybe bollocks, the graphix are the dog’s bollocks

bulletstorm

title a little ironic as you mostly have to buy bullets so have a tendency to be economical with ‘em and use your boot and psychokinetic powers more – this is a fairly fresh take on the fps – over the top, crude, juvenile, profane, frenzied, rowdy, brash, american(!), colourful (or colorful) …ie. pure fun, i enjoyed it, especially after the pomposity of crysis – zombie ragdoll carnage, headshots = decapitations (i suspect censored in the japanese version), killings rewarded on preposterousness – wacky shit, very much a love or hate game – decent functional storyline and great inspired settings (a bit reminiscent of enslaved) are the icing on the cake

i was going to include brink in this round-up but, with so many other things i want to play first, i might not touch it for months – further ahead i’m sure gears of war 3 will be immensely enjoyed (albeit all too familiar) but without doubt rage is going to blow away all the above